Hello Ireland

First topic message reminder :

Trying again. My first post went spinning off the tracks like a runaway train. Bad Karma? hope not, but maybe two first posts will show up.

I'm John from Ontario. I am going to try a daily greeting thread with this board and see how it goes. Very low key, but sincere, no groundbreaking PD news, just heartfelt encouragement.

My Wife and I drove to Ottawa on the weekend. (250 kms there) Strange city, driving, and restaraunts bring out tremors. We had a great time: visited, had dinners, walked, did museums with my son and wife who live there. Saturday nite we went to an "Irish Pub" and I had a yummy shepherds pie and a bottle of Killkenny. Your beer makes our beer taste like soda pop.

I hope everybody has a good and safe day. Be strong, John

JB do not believe a word of it. I beg you to take up my offer. Patsy I would thank not to try and lure my staff with tales of fast cars and windmills. and as for the for sale sign I absolutely catagorigaly definately unmistakenably can say that there is no for sale sign outside the swanky palace,Iknow this for a fact because I am after lifting it and hiding it in the long grass at the back of the swanky that JB accidently on pourpose forgot to cut. As for my feet I need to keep them in tip top condition, they were once featured on the front of the famous Vogue magazine or mabey it was the Irelands Own you know. Please do not tarnish my reputation any further.

Regards

Lucy POTSW (PROPRIETER OF THE SWANKY HOTEL)

I had a phone call from Heidi today begging me to go and fetch Jb from that Swanky Palace where Lucy had him working day and night, so she could sit and soak her feet and poor Jb scrubbing behind fridges, cooking, and gardening and not a penny in his pocket to have a pint.

Lucy I changed my car this is my new one,

Jb when we get back to Elphin you will have this car to drive where ever you want to go.

I think this is a better offer than running the Swanky Palace with the FOR SALE sign outside, and Lucy jetting off to the U.S.A. on her return you would be out of a job.

IT IS YOUR CHOICE !!!! The windmill awaits you.

Hey Lucy i reckon poor Jb could do with a holiday after his time in Swanky Palace and Patsy..something your not telling us about your 'fancy red car'?

Hi to everybody enjoy you're weekend!

JB how could you not have seen what I was doing. I have impoutant bussiness in America next week and I was trying to find a suitable person to run my establishment. And guess who fits the bill. I have been watching you this past month and nothing was too much trouble. My foot water might have been a bit cold at times but I will overlook it. I have been in touch with Heidi and she and the grandkids will be only too happy to come back. The Swanky will be yours to rnn as you wish when I am away. Now JB the choice is yours, run your own hotel or show windmills there are no contest in my book. By the way that fancy red car that Patsy calls her own is gone. I saw it going past the swanky yesterday on the back of a lorry. It has been repossessed by the hire purchase company. So John THE DECISION IS YOURS, but dont take too long I wont wait forever.

I'm not sure why H left me with Lucy in Ireland. But here I am, no money and working for board. Slaving for board is more like it. The Swanky Hotel is running at capacity now for the summer. Lucy has me cooking and serving, groundskeeping and babysitting. (carefull up that tree now Lil Popeye). She works hard too (excuse me while I change her foot soaking water, make her fesh tea, fetch the paper, and fluff her cushions) but she seems to have an endless list of jobs for me. I am going to attempt to sneak over to the pub for a pint while she is watching the telly with her feet in warm water. As I lifted the gate latch, I heard her say "You won't be forgetting to trim the hedges this evening after taking the kids for a play in the park will you John?" Drats, I've been here waiting for Patsy to take me to Elphin to do the guided tour thing for a month now. A month of working my fingers to the bone for the Swank Hotel. What do I get? Bony fingers! Yes Lucy, I shall do it now and turned back. I had no money for the pub anyway. The last time I tried to pay for my beer by singing for general entertainment, the owner said I was so awful sounding that he actually added a couple of Euros to my running Tab. O woe is me, where is Patsy, the paying job, the fancy uniform, The tours of the windmill of Elphin, the fast red car. I laboured on into the evening, It turned into night, night to day, days to weeks. Do you know how many toilets need to be scrubbed at the Swank each day?? And every afternoon I had to play a quick game of cribbage with Lucy. And everyday I had to let her win or else..... (If this is read by Immigration officials, I have no work visas, take me away, send me back to Canada!!, please").

It has been cold and wet. I had to replant some potatoes that turned to mush in the cold wet earth before they could emerge. Rats! Glad I didn't plant anymore than I did. I was just wanting to get them in the ground before ist of June. Patience John, patience.

However, the strawberries are enjoying the cool wet and the plants look good. Fresh strawberry jam with scones in a couple of weeks.

I am not sure if Patsy still wants me to do the tours of Elphin or not. If she does, I am washing dishes at the Swanky Hotel for Lucy. The missus took the grand boys on home, and left me a little short on funds., hence the dish pan hands. scuse me "Yes Lucy, I'm pulling out the fridge in a minute to wash the floor, no, its hanging on the clothesline with the other 5 loads of laundary. What?, oh yes. I made 6 dozen, they are cooling now....."

Patsy, please, where are you...sign me Cinderella Fella

Top of the morning to you Ems! Outside the sun is just coming up, birds are busy singing about what they are going to do today and it is quite green. I'm staying home today to finish planting my garden. I can't believe that the middle of june is here almost. Time skips by so fast. Have a good day Ireland! jb

Good morning friends..
Sun shining again now only hope it stays that way for a while anyway..what's it like in Ontario Seán/Jb?

I must say it was nice to be in a busy chatroom last night thanks guys..

Take care all
Ems

Good morning to all it is 7.30am here and im shaking like crazy just waiting for my tabs to kick in..sun is beaming in which is nice..how are you Ann? and everybody else? hope you're weekend is a good one..take care all..
Em

Not to worry Jb,Mrs Jb.. quick Mr Jb's having trouble with his eye-sight..oh dear Mrs Jb replied he is seeing things again..when i get him back home neuro will have to alter his meds lol..you'll be as right as rain again Jb in no time with lucy, patsy and all of us here with you..ha ha got ya!

Yes Em it was. Confession time though. when I was blindfolded and you were shopping with my wife and trying on bathing suits, and I was just the loaded down pack mule, the blinders slipped and I thought you looked great in the red one, And the black one too, actually there was nothing wrong with that itsy bitsy teeny weeny yellow polk a dot bikini either or the one with...

Hello all..what a story!

Hope you are all in good form if not then put on your favourite cd and sing along if that doesn't help i hope you feel better soon good day to everybody.
Em

Well wasn't that an adventure? Good wrapup Lucy. If Patsy shows up in that fast car, can you tell a whopper of a lie and beg a few more days off. i'm not quite ready to do the tour guide thing yet. thanks again Girls

Sean

Everyone set out in search of JB and the kids. Just as they were passing the tuck shop they heard a noise, they opened the door and who was there but JB and the kids almost covered in sweetie papers. But now there were 3 extra kids. I do not believe it cried Heidi when she saw her grandchildren however did you get here. Heidi said JB you sure as hell wont believe this but do you see that plane above us, they jumped straight out of that and landed right here on my lap. (a bit far fetched i know but it was the best i could do) So with everyone safe and sound they finally arrived at the swanky palace where they all talked late into the night about their adventure. Guess what said Lucy before finally collapsing into bed, I COULD DO WITH ANOTHER HOLIDAY, THAT LAST ONE REALLY TIRED ME OUT.

OMG, where did I go! Lord help me if it involves more women?

As Jb took the children away,>>>>>>>>>>>



Why is it taking him so long ??????????? says Mrs Jb, I had better go and have a look for him.
As she turned around she saw this beautiful blonde girl in a red bikini chatting up Jb and very tenderely stroking his hand.
Lucy's two children were enjoying their ice-creams Jb had bought them.

Mrs Jb said: >>



she looked at Jb and said: when I get you home you certainly will have two black eyes, and a broken wrist.

With that Jb took off as fast as he could, forgetting about the two children in his care, nobody knew where he had gone,



Poor Lucy exhausted went looking for her kids, and Ems was right beside her just when she needed her most. >>>>>>>>>>>>

Em, Lucy, you have been busy! Excellent that you joined in. I want to find out right away what happens so don't leave things hanging too long .

All of a sudden Lucy heard a familiar voice..yelling 'ALL ABOARD'
Jb but how? 'I hope you didn't think we'd leave without you guys to which lucy replied lol course not..along came Mrs Jb in a beautiful red dress, Patsy looked stunning in her new outfit.. poor ol' em in her xl outfit all she could say was we had great fun but think ill be borrowing Lucy's treadmill when we get home..however Jb quickly steps in 'hang on one minute ladies there's just one more thing i need to do Children come with me please I've got a little surprise for you two..wonder what that could be thought Mrs Jb..mmmm..

How in God's name am I supposed to get home on my own and me out in the middle of the ocean I said to myself. I will just have to think of something. Ems persuaded the rest to go on a shopping trip with her. JB didn't need to be asked twice, however when they got to the shops Mrs JB insisted he wear a blind fold. Your just here to carry our shopping dear she said. One look and you will have two black eyes to go with your parky hand and broken wrist, and Mrs JB was not one to be fooling with. Lucy decided she would say nothing to the rest and after they had gone she packed her own and the childrens little suitcases sniff sniff and with tear filled eyes and their heads bowed low the little children asked why does Ems Patsy and Mr and Mrs JB not like us any more mammy they left us in the middle of the ocean to find our own way home. We tried to be good we really did. And you were more than good she told them. Lucy rubbed her tear filled eyes was she seeing things. The irish cruise ship THE EMERALD ISLE was coming in her direction, she looked around for something red to attract it's attention. Suddenly she spied a pair of red swimming shorts lying on the deck. The could have been JB's Patsys or Ems she dident give a dam as long as they did the job. She waved them frantically in the air, and before too long she and the kids were climbing aboard the emerald isle cruise ship and were heading home.

However as ems needed to go shopping as too much time spent eating and drinking on the beach her bikini became..lets just say she needed a new wardrobe and who better than patsy and Mrs Jb as Lucy was planning her trip home..'Jb be a pet' says Mrs Jb and come along we need help with our shopping...

If truth be told Lucy really needed to get home. She was worried about the Swanky Palace and to make matters worse her credit card was exausted and refused point blank to let her spend any more money. The last time she tried to use it she got a letter from her bank saying there are only so many shoes and clothes a girl can wear.PS note the girl bit. Anyway she couldnt wait to get home to show off her new figure after all that running on the treadmill. Patsy and Ems also had things they wanted to attend to. But the question was who was going to tell JB.

as the sun rose and Captin Black expected to see Versailles, but the coast was all wrong, the view unfamilar. Damn, and his fist hit the gyro compass and he looked for his charts. This coast could be full of rocks, and he swung the wheel hard to port but his instruments showed he turned starboard. He engaged the backup instrument panel but an opened bottle of Maple Syrup had tipped over and coated the electronics with the sweet goo. He killed the engines and dropped anchor. What happened! Adrift in a strange Medeterranean....

Jb woke up. Something was amiss. The story was drifting with the tide. Did anyone want to be here in the Med. He wondered if they maybe it was a Hawaian crowd, Were they bored, Everybody was staying in the cabins. Nobody was visiting today. Nobody strolled the deck and greeted each other. He found Popeye and Olive Oil fishing for mackerals off of the back transom. They were having fun. Uuuumhh! Maybe we should go back to Ireland. Lucy didn't get much of a holiday. I'll see what happens today. He looked to the sky for a sign. And went back to sleep.

Marseille. It was the biggest French City on the Medeterranean. With Cinderella sailing at 23 knots per hour we would get there about 10 in the morning. The climate was warm, but not too hot. The shopping was great, too rich for my blood but I'm sure that it will be checked out by the missus. Travelling with the Irish Parkys was neat. Nobody slept that well and on the top deck under the moonlight the deck chairs were full of us. An Australian that sat near us in the Dining Room joined us that night. Earlier in the day, I had noticed him watching us and in turn I had noticed him walking and eating. He had asked me that afternoon what our group was, did we have a name, and said we looked to be having lots of fun. I asked him if he had Parkinsons. He quickly said no but asked why I wondered. Oh, I noticed that you were stiff on the right side, you send your wife to the buffet and you had trouble cutting your meat and you and you had trouble walking when the waves were up yesterday. Anyways that night he joined us for awhile. His doctor in Melbourne had refused to believe that his forty year old patient could have Parkinsons. But after talking with us, he was sure of it. But he felt better having shared the evening with us. A cooler of beer was found, Emma sang like a bird, Patsy and Katie told jokes trying to outdo each other. As dawn started to pull open the blinds that were hiding the sunrise, we slipped off to our rooms for some shut eye. The big ship torqued forward with decks vibrating from its speed. Like the big ship had Parky tremors too.

My wife lead the shopping expedition through the stores of Valencia. I think that Em and Patsy went with them. I heard Em remark to Lucy that my wife was a power shopper and , skillful price negotiater. She was also amazed that the store manager would deliver parcels with his personal car to the ship. When I went to get dressed for supper, my closet was full of souveniers. I enquired about my clothes and was told that they were all in the suitcase because she needed the space for gifts. We met with everybody for supper. Roast beef, mashed potatoes, jello, salads, chicken. The desert trays were beyond belief and we still had to save room for the midnite buffet on the top deck. We headed to the main lounge for the entertainment that night. It was Line dancing! We were asked to join in on stage.

(play the souvenier video and see if you can find yourself.)

line dance

As the dancers finished up beers with us following the show, promising to do a benefit for Parkinsons Society at the Castle in Kilkenny, we felt the main engines start up. The gangplank pulled in and we slipped out into the open sea headed for...

Always I looked out for the welfare of my fellow mankind and really watched out for the welfare of womankind. I finished up the windows and headed out the door whistling a tune through my sun burnt lips. I'm worried about Patsy and Ems getting sunburnt up on deck I told her. (and those ladies down there on the beach I murmured to myself.)



As i walked past our fresh washed windows, The Missus was looking down on the beach. "It may be difficult to put sunscreen on all those Ladies with Parkinsons in your right hand and the left wrist broken." she said. My left wrist isn't broken I responded. "touch any of those Irish girls and it will be was her answer" Aw,nuts.and I went to play shuffleboard