Help needed

Maggie, EMS thank you both. I’ve gotta feeling I am gonna love it here

Hi Doylerdub and welcome

I have the same problem when I go shopping. Like EMS my8 left hand and arm shake, I fumble and fiddle with my purse, drop notes and coins, and become increasingly agitated and self conscious, especially if there is a queue behind me.
In fairness nobody has ever said a cross word to me, its just that I'm so aware of it.

What I find especially tricky is when the receipt, with the notes and cash, is placed into my palm. I'm then juggling shopping bags, cash, my shoulder bag and always let something fall.

Maggie May

Hi there doylerd and welcome, please let me reassure you that you are not alone.as my situation is quiet similar (except i'm not quiet so tall)..most of the time when i go shopping i have to have my teenage son with me..left hand/arm tremor..at the checkout fumbling for money, dropping shopping..however i stressed myself out needlessly as now if in an awkward situation i ask for help or just tell them straight out i have PD.. or just ignore the stares..there are understanding people out there really..its not always easy i know and sorry i can't be of more help..as they say keep strong and take care..ems

Hi I just joined now so I hope you don’t mind me posting here. I hate going out when I am bad. I am 46 years old guy and 6ft 4 and shuffle along and my right arm tremors. I find people just stop and stare. It is hard and I just want to shout and tell them to go away BUT instead I just nod and shuffle along. I once heard an elderly woman remark that I was a disgrace, drunk in the afternoon and making my teenage son carry the shopping bag.

cathy wrote:please do not look too closely at my spellings thats something i was very good at but i find now i have to think and still get it wrong but you get the gist anyway

cathy

Hey Cathy there's nothing wrong with your spelling! weally..oops really lol..

please do not look too closely at my spellings thats something i was very good at but i find now i have to think and still get it wrong but you get the gist anyway

cathy

Well Cathy, i agree when you say shop early if possible as from time to time i have trouble packing shopping bags and find it less stressful when not too busy..turning the key in the door is another one..believe it or not, signing my name is becoming a nightmare and addressing envelopes but our postmistress is extremely helpful there so i guess it's not all doom and gloom..
ems

i realy find every where i go if i get shaky people are always ready to help i was shopping in a different town recently and gentleman came up to my car and said i can see you are struggling can i help i was not aware it was so obvious.so much for hiding i find te check out trying to get money out of a purse and the que all eyes are on you i suppose shop early when things are quiet . would be an idea .would love to hear how other people cope
cathy

Thank you so much for your honesty and your dignified and considered answer. Is there ever an exception? I know that I hate going out if my walk is bad, which it can be if I am stressed, esp if upset or embarrassed, and if I don't get enough sleep. This has become more pronounced since having DBS.

I know one person who wears smart clothing and good leather shoes when out - no jeans or scruffy sneakers, and he feels this gets him a better reception than he might otherwise get. Likes to look his best and it works for him.

Another lady with tremor, who finds signing cheques or using credit cards for buying groceries sometimes difficult to impossible, has solved it for the moment by approaching, with the permission of the manager, one lady on a till with whom she always had a great laugh while they processed her groceries. Now she goes to the supermarket when it is quiet, and tries to make it also at a time when she can sign, but if she can't sign the lady on the till will make out the cheque for her and put it in the till and the customer signs the cheque as soon as she can. Of course this only works in a local shop where you are well known, and in her case there was a sympathetic supermarket manager with whom she spoke first.

It is good to hear from someone for whom dealing with it ls working well and hopefuly others will imitate!

I remember that some of us in PALS, the YOPD PAI branch, investigated the idea of having two signatures available say in your local bank as acceptable proof of identity regardless of whether you were on or off, but we could not seem to interest the banks. We even designed a card. This stemmed from one person describing walking up and down outside the bank for 20 minutes so he could ensure he would be able to sign a withdrawal slip. Nowadays people use an ATM machine but it is a good scenario to plan ahead what to do if encountered.

I would say that most people without PD have a considerate attitude towards me most of the time. I cannot recall many instances where somebody did or said anything that upset me based on PD. However, I am always aware of how I walk, how I look getting in and out of a car, how clumsy I am with a knife and fork, etc. I don't remember anybody else complaining but it does make me uncomfortable. When I know that I am going to be in regular contact with somebody (a new neighbor or a new co-worker for example) I like to casually mention that I have PD in a one on one conversation, just so that they are aware of the reason that I move the way I move and I try to downplay the importance so that they see me as me instead of the guy with PD.

As far as practical coping strategies, I try to buy shoes that don't have any laces and shirts that don't have any buttons whenever possible. Before I walk into a store I try to have my bank card or some cash in my front pocket or shirt pocket so that I don't create a backup at the checkout stand when I go to pay. Nobody would be right to complain about me creating such a backup, and nobody ever has, but anything I can do to avoid another PD indignity is a small victory.

I am starting research on people's attitudes to us parkies and how we react and how we cope or don't cope, and am looking for stories of how you coped in a particular siuation, or how you didn;t cope.
No need for surnames, just first name or alternative first name, age, age at diagnosis, male female married, partner, ex, kids.... a supportive family... living in Ireland or other country...

Two examples: one lady always said to people when her walk was bad that her Parkinson's was bad today; another said Isn't the drink a demon!! The same lady says she loves to say it to doormen at hotel entrances!

And me? The ultimate coward; if my walk is bad I stay home or else rustle up someone to lean on, and failing that I run! Someone suggested a walking stick because with one you are not gaga or drunk, and you know, it works.