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Humour/Laughter

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1 Humour/Laughter on 16/1/2011, 1:11 pm

Patsy

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First topic message reminder :

ALL

Us Parkies do need laughter, so come on lets hear your jokes (clean jokes please) stories, or anything that will make us laugh.



Have a nice weekend.

Patsy !! (peaches)


76 Man Joke on 7/5/2011, 2:08 am

katie


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Husband and wife are shopping in Tesco's when the man pick up a crate of Stella and sticks them into the trolley. 'What do you think you're doing?' asks the wife.
They're on offer, only 10 euro for 24 cans' he says
'Put them back, we can't afford it', says the wife and they carry on shopping....
A few aisles later the womas picks up a 20 euro jar of face cream and sticks it into the trolley. 'What do you think you're doing?' asks the man. It's my face cream. It makes me look beautiful,' she says.
The man replies....."SO DOES 24 CANS OF STELLA AND IT'S HALF THE PRICE!.......

77 Re: Humour/Laughter on 6/5/2011, 11:05 am

Patsy

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78 A Tortoise Tale on 4/5/2011, 3:25 am

katie


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Three tortoises, Mick Alan and Les, decide to go on a picnic. So Mick packs the picnic basket with beer and sandwiches. the trouble is, the picnic site is ten miles away so it takes them ten days to get there. When they get there Mick unpacks the food and beer. 'OK Les give me the bottle opener'
I did'nt bring it,'says Les. 'Ithought you had packed it' Mick gets worried, He turns to Alan, 'Did you bring the bottle opener?? Naturally Alan didn't bring it. So they're stuck ten miles from home without a bottle opener. Mick and Alan beg Les to go back for it, but he refuses as he says they will eat all the sandwiches. After two hours, and after they have sworn on their tortoise lives that they will not eat the sandwiches, he finally agrees. So Les sets off down the road at a steady pace.
Twenty days pass and he still isn't back and Mick and Alan are starving, but a promise is a promise.
Another five days and he still isn't back, but a promise is a promise.
Finally they can't take it any longer so they take out a Sandwich each, and just as they are about it, LES pops up from behind a rock and shouts.......

1 KNEW IT.....I'M NOT F**KING GOING!!!

79 Re: Humour/Laughter on 2/5/2011, 11:16 am

Patsy

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A MOTHER'S LETTER



Dear Son

Just a few lines to let you know tha I am still alive. I am writing this slowly because I know that you can't read fast. You won't know the house when you come home, we've moved.

About your father, he has got a lovely new job. He has 500 men under him, he cuts grass at the cemetery. Your sister Mary had a baby this morning. I haven't found out yet whether its a boy or a girl so I don't know if you're an aunt or an uncle.


I went to the doctors on Thursday and your father came with me. The doctor put a small tube in my mouth and told me not to talk for 10 minutes, Your father offered to buy it from him.

Your uncle Patrick drowned last week in a vat of Irish whiskey at the Dublin brewery. Some of his workmates tried to save him but he fought them off bravely. They cremated him and it took 3 days to put the fire out.

It only rained twice this week, first for 3 days then for 4 days. We had a letter from the undertaker he said if the last payment on your grandmother's plot wasn't paid in 7 days, UP she comes.

Your loving Mother

P.S. I was going to send you 5 pounds but I have already sealed the envelope. <<>>

80 Re: Humour/Laughter on 1/5/2011, 7:40 am

ems

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Very good Patsy.especially the parrot one!

81 Re: Humour/Laughter on 30/4/2011, 1:01 pm

jb49

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Good pictures Patsy

82 Re: Humour/Laughter on 30/4/2011, 12:04 pm

Patsy

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83 Re: Humour/Laughter on 15/4/2011, 7:35 am

Patsy

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84 Re: Humour/Laughter on 5/4/2011, 6:01 am

ems

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Hi Patsy..I am so sorry for your sad news..you take all the time you need..look after yourself we're here whenever ok?
Take care
Em

85 Re: Humour/Laughter on 4/4/2011, 2:49 pm

jb49

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Ah Patsy, I am so sorry for your loss,and proud of you for supporting your sister in turn. I didn't know, sorta got my foot in my mouth eh. You take all the time you want, I'll be sitting here in the park waiting for you. May your memories of your brother in law be good and you gain strength from them. jb

86 Re: Humour/Laughter on 4/4/2011, 11:27 am

Patsy

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Hi Sean (jb) I am OK, I have had a berevement in the family. My brother-in-law (sisters husband) passed away after battling Alzheimer's for 2 years. She was there for me 5yrs ago when I lost my husband, so i want to support her as best I can.

I promise I will be back with some more pictures, just give me a little time.

Best wishes
& kind regards to all, Patsy !!!!!!!!!

87 Re: Humour/Laughter on 3/4/2011, 11:58 pm

jb49

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Patsy, are you okay? Love to hear from you when you can, miss your pictures too. Howa bout you Lucy? jb

88 Re: Humour/Laughter on 30/3/2011, 1:59 pm

jb49

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Okay Patsy, time to make us laugh again, got some more brilliant pictures, jokes or home spun poetry that would make Yeats twirl in his grave.

C'mon Patsy, give us a joke or else I will post an off colour one that will make you all blush. jb

89 Humour and Laughter on 26/1/2011, 1:34 pm

Patsy

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90 Humour/Laughter on 16/1/2011, 1:11 pm

Patsy

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ALL

Us Parkies do need laughter, so come on lets hear your jokes (clean jokes please) stories, or anything that will make us laugh.



Have a nice weekend.

Patsy !! (peaches)

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