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Humour/Laughter

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1 Humour/Laughter on 16/1/2011, 1:11 pm

Patsy

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First topic message reminder :

ALL

Us Parkies do need laughter, so come on lets hear your jokes (clean jokes please) stories, or anything that will make us laugh.



Have a nice weekend.

Patsy !! (peaches)


26 Re: Humour/Laughter on 26/8/2011, 6:03 am

ems

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Hey good one Marie!

27 Humour/ laughter on 26/8/2011, 1:59 am

MarieB


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Tech Support to customer: 'I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop'
'Ok' says the customer.
Tech Support: 'Did you get a pop-up menu?'
'No' replies the customer.
Tech Support: 'Ok, right-click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?'
'Not at all' replies the customer.
Tech Support: 'Ok Sir, can you tell me what you have been doing up to this point?'
'Sure' replies the customer. 'You told me to write "click" so I wrote down "click"!

28 Re: Humour/Laughter on 25/8/2011, 11:05 pm

jb49

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Grandson Charley, 2 , had whipped cream put on his jello. He was impressed with it and soon had it licked off. Lost for proper words but knowing what the white blob looked like, asked for more sunscreen for his jello.

29 Re: Humour/Laughter on 18/8/2011, 9:25 am

jb49

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My grandson Nick was proud to be the ring Bearer for his Mothers wedding. I was more nervous. Rehearsing what he had to do he told me it was easy. He just had to carry the rings for Mommy and Breton and growl at everybody. I thought to myself "growl" Then it dawned on me what the word Ring Bear must mean to a 4 year old. Nicky is 11 now, precious, and I still smile about that.

30 Re: Humour/Laughter on 10/8/2011, 11:08 pm

ems

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Hey Patsy,don't worry i didn't get it either so we are not stupid..maybe just a bit slow off the mark.. Embarassed

Good one Lucy!

31 Re: Humour/Laughter on 10/8/2011, 10:47 pm

lucy

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Patsy wrote:
lucy wrote:A cowboy rode into town on friday
he stayed for 3 days
and left on friday
how did he do it


Answers on a postcard please to lucy

Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy

Lucy, I couldn't find a postcard, in other words I haven't got a clue what the answer is,?????????
PLEASE, PLEASE, Tell me what the answer is,!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Patsy !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The horses name was Friday.

32 Re: Humour/Laughter on 10/8/2011, 11:55 am

Patsy

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33 Re: Humour/Laughter on 10/8/2011, 5:53 am

lucy

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LOL Ems Nice try but unfortunately on this occasion Friday won the prize Very Happy

34 Re: Humour/Laughter on 10/8/2011, 5:14 am

ems

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My postcard's on it's way to you..it should reach you on..Friday!
Don't worry Lucy about the prize money..the next 50euro note should get here( or to whoever the winner is) safe and sound..LOL

35 Re: Humour/Laughter on 10/8/2011, 12:48 am

lucy

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JB your post card has just arrived and you got it in one. I dont know what the postman would have thought if he read it, a postcard addressed to me about cowboys and fridays. Now for the dissapointment sorry JB there was a 50euro prize but I turned my back for a moment and Friday ate it. I tried my very best to prise her mouth open but alas she kept chewing and you know with the size of her teeth I thought it would be wiser to lose the 50 instesd of 5 fingers so I had to say goodbye to my lovely 50euro note.
PS My posts are getting sillier I blame the PD

Marie well done

Patsy have a good look at this post there is a kind of a clue.

36 Don't hand out prize yet! on 9/8/2011, 9:04 pm

jb49

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Hi Lucy,

My answer is on a postcard, stamped and on the way to Ireland. Watch for it! I follow instructions well. What is the prize by the way for the right answer Lucy. And it must be submitted by postcard right?

jb

37 Lucy postcard humour on 9/8/2011, 6:20 pm

MarieB


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Even silly old me has worked this one out Pasty..........are you telling tall tales or do you need me to send you the answer (on a post card!')

Tree Heeee Marie

good one Lucy!

38 Re: Humour/Laughter on 9/8/2011, 10:59 am

Patsy

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lucy wrote:A cowboy rode into town on friday
he stayed for 3 days
and left on friday
how did he do it


Answers on a postcard please to lucy

Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy

Lucy, I couldn't find a postcard, in other words I haven't got a clue what the answer is,?????????
PLEASE, PLEASE, Tell me what the answer is,!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Patsy !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

39 more senior driving on 5/8/2011, 9:32 am

katie


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Two elderly women were out driving in a large car - both could barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along, they came to an intersection. The stoplight was red, but they just went on through.

The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself *I must be losing it. I could have sworn we just went through a red light.* After a few more minutes, they came to another intersection and the light was red again. Again they went right through. The woman in the passenger seat was almost sure the light was red but was really concerned that she was losing it.

She was gettin nervous at the next intersection, sure enough the light was red and they went on through. So, she turned to the other woman ad said, *Mildred, did you know we just ran through three red lights in a row? You could have killed us both!* Mildred turned to her and said, ..........*OH! AM I DRIVING?

40 Re: Humour/Laughter on 4/8/2011, 7:37 am

katie


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George, a senior citizen, drove his brand new BMW Z3 convertible out of the car salesroom. Taking off down the Motorway, he floored it to 90 mph. Enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left. *Amazing!* he thought as he flew down the M40, enjoying pushing the pedal to the metal even more.

Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a police car behind him, blue lights flashing and siren blaring.

*I can get away from him-no problem!* thought the elderly nutcase as he floored it to 110 mph, then 120, then 130mph, suddenly he thought, and said *what on earth am I doing? I'm too old for this nonsense! So he pulled over to the side of the road and waited for the police car to catch up with him.

Pulling in behind him, the police officer walked up to the driver's side of the BMW,looked at his watch and said *Sir, my shift ends in 10 minutes. Today is Friday and I'm taking off for the weekend. If you can give me a reason why you were speeding that I'v never heard before,I'll let you go*

The man, looked very seriously at the policeman, and replied, *Years ago, my wife ran off with a policeman, I thought you were bringing her back!*

Have a good day sir, *said the Policeman*

41 Humoury on 1/8/2011, 8:32 am

MarieB


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Come in a bit late today but second all your comments about jb, Lucy, Ems and Katie. Brilliant poets all and some dark horses too!

Mariexxxx

42 Re: Humour/Laughter on 1/8/2011, 1:44 am

ems

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I love it Lucy..great poem for a good man..thank you so much to Jb for your wonderful contributions to PAI..

I'm sure lots of you have read our poetry here, under general tab we have 'stories and poems' and 'our uninvited friend' includes Lucy's first class poetry with others and a few thrown in by myself..hope you all enjoy today!
Ems

43 Re: Humour/Laughter on 1/8/2011, 12:59 am

lucy

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I wish to make a complaint. A few weeks ago I had very little posts to read now I am breathless trying to keep up Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy

There was a young man called JB
Now this is secret between you and me
He lives near toronto
Can make a story up pronto
To entertain us
In spite of PD

Just a little bit of news about JB Last year I did a little bit of fund raising for the PAI
and I received a cheque with a very generous amount from JB all the way from canada.

Thought it was worth telling everyone

JB I dont know wheather to believe you or not about the postcard Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy



Last edited by lucy on 1/8/2011, 11:48 pm; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : changed wording)

44 Re: Humour/Laughter on 31/7/2011, 10:07 pm

jb49

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katie wrote:Very good MarieB, dont be so modest, you definitely have a way with words.

The poems are just a little silly bit of humour, I find sometimes it is a good way to cheer myself up, hope I didnt offend anyone, I sure did not mean to!

Have a good weekend my friends!

Katie

Dear Kate,

If the intent intended
For me to be offended
It will have to be rescinded
And totally ammended.

I loved the word Dashing
Not rhymed with falls smashing
As my meds wear, I'm crashing
Bang me up, more gashing.

You are so insightful,
Elevated me. Not rightful
Trusted I'm not despiteful
Perhaps in flesh, frightful?

As for this writing matter
I type ideas that scatter
I spew out words and natter
Likely sound Mad as a Hatter

But between me and you
Dashing is the verb in view
To describe what I often do
As I hurry to the Loo. Very Happy

Thanks for your poem Katy, it was totally appreciated by me. You Celtic ladies make my day.

Sincerely john b

45 Re: Humour/Laughter on 31/7/2011, 7:05 am

ems

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I agree Marie you do have a way with words..and Katie i am sure you could never offend anyone..great poem.
Ems

46 Re: Humour/Laughter on 31/7/2011, 6:22 am

katie


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Very good MarieB, dont be so modest, you definitely have a way with words.

The poems are just a little silly bit of humour, I find sometimes it is a good way to cheer myself up, hope I didnt offend anyone, I sure did not mean to!

Have a good weekend my friends!

Katie

47 Humour on 31/7/2011, 6:00 am

MarieB


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Very good Katie. Can't rise to your poetic talent so here's some simple humour (I hope)

An airline pilot makes an announcement , 'Ladies and Gentleman I have good news and bad news .The bad news is. that we've been hijacked by terrorists. The good news is that they want to go to Disneyland.'


48 Re: Humour/Laughter on 30/7/2011, 7:11 am

katie


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A dashing young man called JB
Had a talent for telling a story.
He had lucy and ems,patsy marie and katie
all agog with his tales and misfortunes of lately.
Now the girls are all waiting for the next happy chapter,
hope he's home with his pen rustling up some more laughter! Smile


Katie

49 contest still open? on 30/7/2011, 12:38 am

jb49

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Gee Lucy,

I have an answer for your riddle. Postcard from Canada has started enroute by dogsled, ponyexpress and kayak. Don't give up prize until you get my answer please. jb

50 Re: Humour/Laughter on 28/7/2011, 2:59 pm

jb49

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Those are good jokes Katie. I wonder if Lucy received any cards yet too.

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